Dosha in couples
DOSHA DATING GUIDE
Now that you (hopefully) know your true nature, the question remains: does it matter which dosha you date?
Let's get stuck into it.
Dating someone with the same dosha as you means you will have lots of similarities, which can create a beautiful harmony in the couple.
However, one of the fundamental principles in Ayurveda is that like attracts like, but opposites balance. Translation: you gravitate towards things that are similar to you / or the way you are already feeling, while in fact what you might need to achieve balance is the exact opposite.
So if you find yourself dating the same dosha as you - be careful not to aggravate your respective natures. We're not advising against it, the point is just to be aware of the tendencies of your Dosha in order to be able to preempt tension.
2 KAPHAS = faithful, tender, homebodies. It's necessary to motivate each other to bring about change in your routine which can eventually become stagnant.
2 PITTAS = passionate, driven, 'the couple that always fights'. You both switch to conflict mode easily so get ready for fireworks.
2 VATAS = romantic, spontaneous, indecisive. Might have trouble committing to each other. Help each other establish a routine and practice calming activities together so you dont wind yourselves up into an anxious frenzy.
Pitta + Kapha = the nature of Kapha will have a cooling effect on the Pitta partner, through their attentive and unfailing support. The Pitta will have an energizing effect on the Kapha, and if the Kapha is open to it, can take them out of their comfort zone (a good thing). Beware of the large energy gap between these 2 doshas and the difference in conflict management - a Pitta might be quick to forget hurtful things said, but a Kapha is not.
Vata + Kapha = the Kapha has a comforting effect on the Vata who is often juggling a thousand projects at a time. They bring stability and structure to the couple (Kaphas may prompt starting a family, or getting married). The Vata will bring spontaneity to the couple because they like change and surprises and they cannot stay still.
Vata + Pitta = a very dynamic couple who need movement. Pitta's organized nature will help calm Vata's scattered mind.
Vata brings creativity and a little lightness to Pitta's tightly controlled daily life. Vata's anxiety and Pitta's explosive nature can create high tension situations. Vata's tedency to skip meals can also lead to very hangry Pittas!
Love language: Vatas express love in spontaneous and creative ways such as unexpected gifts, cute little notes and surprise dinners - showing their partner they are always thinking about them.
Conflict: Vatas avoid conflict - their tactic is to bottle their frustration up inside over time, which will inevitably explode at some point. This can make it seem that they are overacting to something - when it fact it's a result of unexpressed feelings and emotions over a long time.
Routine: Vatas are not followers of boring routines, they do not appreciate too much stability or controlling partners. They are looking to the future and always have many desires and projects in mind.
Love language: Pittas are in the moment, in action. They express their feelings through passionate gestures, by planning romantic getaways and are very tactile people.
Conflict: Pittas are about confrontation, so tension can quickly set off a spark and arouse anger. They will show their nervousness or disappointment (even in themselves) by shouting but forget as quickly as the anger has risen. They know how to forgive and quickly move on.
Routine: Pittas love organising to maximise time and experiences. They're not really 'go with the flow' kind of people. They are super in the moment though so don't expect to talk long-term commitment too soon in the relationship.
Love language: Kaphas are loyal, gentle and communicative people. The expression of their feelings passes through sweet words, deep discussions and romantic declarations.
Conflict: they avoid conflict at all costs. If an argument arises, they will absorb the negative vibes and have a hard time shedding them later. Kaphas never forget what was said, and so have great difficulty forgiving.
Routine: Kaphas are all about commitment. They can stay with the same person for a very long time without getting bored because stable reassurance = happiness.
GET TO THE POINT
All doshas combinations go well together in love, there is no such thing as a "perfect" or "recommended" combinations like you might find in astrology.
The important thing to keep in mind is the difference between your dosha and that of your partner as it can really help you navigate your relationship. If you know that the reason why you respond to conflict differently is not because one person has the correct or incorrect approach, but because you are programmed differently, this can lead to much more awareness and acceptance in the couple.